The List

Meet my protagonist Elsie. It is June, 2010.

Elsie sprinted the last hundred yards through Peckham Rye Park, sweat prickling at her temples, her mind still in knots.

What if she did follow Jack to Australia?

Back at the flat she sat down at her tiny desk and pulled a crinkled sheet of paper from the stack of notes, mail and statements teetering on the edge. She took a pen, paused, then drew two columns – one for PRO, the other CON.

In the PRO column she wrote:

· Being with Jack

· Never seeing Gundula again

· New work opportunities?

· Have a family

She squinted, searched, gnawed at her lower lip trying to form a picture in her mind. It dissolved. What did Australia even look like? She had only ever thought of it as Jack’s home – and it ended there.

His mother seemed nice, or at least caring. What was her name again? She vaguely remembered Jack mentioning… Margaret, Martha – Meredith! That was it. Her name was Meredith. Elsie felt her chest tighten, twirled a strand of hair around her thumb.

Okay, what about the CONs?

· Missing Lars & Sue

· Missing London?

· What about National Insurance?

· Can I drive there with my UK licence?

Elsie rubbed her forehead, closed her eyes. Breathe – Sue had once taught her this for when she panicked. Let pictures form in your mind, then let them pass. Just like emotions, they come… and they go again. Nothing is permanent.

Jack’s face began shaping in her mind. His twinkling blue eyes, the little dimples when he smiled. She could feel his soft, slightly open lips that promised more, the warmth of his body. Her chest filled with a light, spreading flutter. She smiled.

Opening her eyes, she drew a line under the columns and wrote:

AUSTRALIA — OUR HOME